Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
