and i looked up. we had an audience...
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
