Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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