its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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