proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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