i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
