i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
