Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
