First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
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