This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I supernannyed him into submission
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize