I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
