I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
