New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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