today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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