we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I look better un-naked...
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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