so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
