i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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