we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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