just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
