ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Randomize
