I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
