Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
