He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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