if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
