We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I need water and some morals
Randomize
