Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
