I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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