So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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