I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
