I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
