Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
