Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
