I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
should my penis look like a turkey
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
