I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize