I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
