I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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