I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Randomize