i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
