Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
