why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I am available for nakedness
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize