It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
