I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
did i just pee glitter
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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