Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
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