I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
