My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Randomize
