she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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