Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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