ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
