im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
