I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
