it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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