these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
