Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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