i need an iv and a liver transplant
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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