i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
She is in my trunk
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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