omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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