I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
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