How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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