Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
