Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
